Monday, 28 November 2016

What To Do When You Miss Someone Who Doesn't Miss You Back

What To Do When You Miss Someone Who Doesn't Miss You Back?

You do NOTHING. Just distance yourself from him and anything got to do with him.

I know this lately most of my blog post covers the sadness and vulnerability of my pathetic life but heyyy I'm trying my best not to sober in real life so let me sober here instead.

Anyhow, I'm now experimenting with my feelings, trying to gain back the strength I had years back when I got divorced. I hope it still works. With a twist of course.

This time around I will not let hatred take over my sanity. To hate someone is actually exhausting. Especially when you still have feelings for him.

Sometimes I'm not sure if the reason why I'm trying to let him go is because I fear that he will leave me first or simply because I want to be respectful by giving him the space he longed.

Why do I love this guy so damn much is because he is smart, he is intelligent, he is good looking and he is all I ever wanted in a guy. It's just that I can't have him. He used to care so much about me that I let my guard down for him. Yup, that was my biggest mistake ever. Nothing to regret, at least he was there when I have no one.

People change, so does their needs. I may no longer have what he needs and I may no longer need what he has to offer. Things changed drastically these past weeks. Sometimes we no longer have things to talk over the phone. We no longer hang out. He never asked anything about me anymore, maybe because he doesn't care or he couldn't be bother.

Setting a distance is the best thing I could do now.

The more space you give, the more space you earn.

I love him more than I used to love the father of my child and always will.



Love,
Stupid

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

October 2016

Life has been urmmmm uncertain, head over heels, sometimes rainbow sometimes feels like trapped in a sewerage bla bla bla for the past 1 year... I had a really bad depression last few months.. up to a point i even had to prescribe to sleeping pills etc so that my mind could rest.. instagram didn't do any justice, i might look like i've been enjoying life where the fact is i really hate getting up in the morning to live another day.. who would display kepalatan in life anyway?

I turned 1 year working with my current company.. work was hectic, but somehow felt appreciated when i see my KPI (hehehe)

i was supposed to go for my annual balik kampung trip (korea) on 26.10.16 but had to cancel due to having to choose either wanderlust or a new kitchen.. adulthood sucks.. unless if u're anak raja or something..

#misiredkebaya as always ke laut.. I gained another 5 kgs once i vow to lose another 10kgs.. well, that's the usual nadia anyway..

this few weeks i've been reading a lot, meditate a lil bit so that i can have a stable mind to keep my life back on track..

i didn't realise before how serious depression could be until i experience it myself.. never take depression lightly.. never think that 'ala baru kena uji sikit dah terbabas' never ever think that 'sendiri cari pasal'...

i used to think of that way cause i experienced worst before, divorced when i was 5 months pregnant and still a student but i don't know why stupid inconsequential matters got me into depression..

anyhow, may I have a better life after this..


Sunday, 16 October 2016

Conversation

Jom pegi seberang?

One may view it as a daily joke while the other may view it the other way around.

How funny such simple question that may seem an insult to others might seem like a token of appreciation to some..

When I was younger I used to think the question itself is like an insult. But when someone you dearly have feelings to jokingly ask you, you somehow feel ................. I don't even know how to describe this feelings. 

Sometimes I wish you would stumble upon to my thoughts here, but sometimes I wish you never knew.

Some would say it hurts more to hold on to something uncertain but as for now, call me stupid.


Love,
Stupid


Monday, 5 October 2015

Hibernate

Lama plak kali ni pny menghilang.. hari ni qada balek segala blog2 lama yg dh lama x menjengah.. alang2 bwk bekal x sedap (aku x reti masak), selera pon ilang, nk jalan pi kedai mkn lunch pon malas.. haha..

Sambil baca2 blog dgr youtube, skali dlm playlist ada lagu Lifehouse-Everything..

Syahdu2 sket smbil tahan lapar..

Bru balek Australia tp rase mcm xnk balek je aritu.. nk pegi lagi lagi and lagi.. tp idokla tahap cintakan korea.. setakat ni xde lagi negara yg berjaya menggugat korea.. saranghaeyoooo..

Anyhow kat Aussie aritu boleh plak ada drama sebabak sesat masok hutan sampai lompat2 minx pertolongan bile nmpk helicopter.. haaa.. saspen x?

Nanti la ye cite.. x bwk pic kat opis ni.. nk korek kat fb, fb kne block pulop..


Da Di Du


Wednesday, 12 August 2015

No Mood


Penah x rase penat bile org cari kite only when they need something? 


Sunday, 28 June 2015

Seoul Searching Trip 2014


Sempena malam td sebak2 tgk pic korea (i'm overly attached to korea like that) trip last year, maka arini mood nak blog pon timbul.. tp berbekalkan my gold fish memory makanya pic2 je la yg mampu utk disajikan.. itinerary dalam ni yg bukan updated pny.. pkai balek 2013 pny itinerary and update kawasan utk dilawati and mark up sikit2 fees.. so harga2 ni as a guide only sbb by the time kami sampai sana mmg mostly naik harga.. nnt ada masa (and rajin) bolehla update yg actual pny..

Direction2 dlm ni mmg selalu copy bulat2 dr blog2 (Semoga murah rezeki2 kalian sbb byk membantu dalam aktiviti menyiapkan itinerary and guide supaya kami x sesat).. Waktu 1st time jejak kaki korea (2013) aku siap print post dr blog Azra and hari2 kaji blog Kak Kiah.. mmg makan gaji buta and zombie x tido malam la gamaknye time tu.. and utk org2 yg ttbe terbaca blog ni and ttbe rase mcm "apsal direction minah ni ayat same mcm aku?" maybe mmg aku kopipes dr hang pny tp aku lupe.. mohon halalkan and do let me know k.. haha

Trip kali ni aku byk salah guna kemudahan utk OKU and org tua sbg contoh akibat kaki dh kebas kematu x de deria rasa dh, aku slalu nek lift kat subway.. so dlm lift sume pandang atas bwh.. sbb dlm lift tu aku n ros je muda.. yg lain sume probably 65 years old and above.. hahaha

Pejadahnye aku bebel2 ni? nah tgk la pic.. pic dr kamera ros.. most of my pic ada dlm hp.. because i don't know how to use my camera.. pic blur sokmo.. (note: Nadia ialah seorg yg buta IT/technology)



Part BANANA MILK tu, aku ade history pahit, sampai2 epot (trip 2013) terus beli walhal sedar diri yg mmg akn muntah if minum susu campur banana (allergic) tp ttp beli and terus gogok minum (maybe Bismillah pon lupe bace time ni) lepas tu kepala start pusing 3 minit pas minum.. rase cm mabuk2 sat n mkn panadol bagai.. smpi hostel pon baring2 jap sbb kepala pusing.. pastu menapak pi Namsan Tower.. and kat sini la menyaksikan aku muntah kat tepi org sangkut2 love lock tu.. org len sangkut lock meterai sumpah janji setia.. aku tepek muntah.. (no wonder la unlucky in love sokmo).. Start dr situ aku fobia tgk banana milk ni.. tgk pon boleh pening.. bau ley pengsan n if minom ley mati.. over btol..

Ok berbalik ke trip 2014.. Time ni pi lantern festival tu mmg menyesal and mulut kumat kamit sumpah seranah sbb org rmai bak taik ulat and kitorg stuck dgn perut kebuluran..  


Yang Good tutup hari ahad harap maklum..







Ok la selamat menjamu mata..

Pi korea kne la jumpe mak angkat ni



Helpful guide.. tp yg kami jumpe kat bangsan market ensem.. sesat 4 jam pon xpe..


kesan diri depan bende panas.. muke pon cm hape..

Mamat ni ley ckp melayu

Ni pic b4 ros jd OKU sbb sakit kaki pkai boot..

 Nampak slim.. so kne la upload kan..


Lantern festival puaka

Insadong (My fav place)









Beria amek pic kat building yg salah


Sedap.. x tipu.. dont judge a book by its cover..

Mamat ni akn jerit "Shit pang Shit pang"

Nadia makan tahi

Beria bongkok2 nk bace menu tgk ade pork ke idok.. OH MY PEHA


Sejuk2 mkn eskem.. buang tebiat.. anyway, kedai mcm ni ade bukak kat avenue K.. tp bile mkn feeling die x same dgn korea.. so better pi mkn ni kat korea.. heheheh




Ni kat EWHA Uni kot.. sori x igt


Thanks Nature Cafe


Kire bajet



Nadia & Kambing berpisah tiada



Haa park ni kami jumpe time jenjalan.. lawa giler tp xde org.. pulun amek pic.. agaknye org2 korea yg lalu lalang situ mst pelik je tgk kitorg.. alaa, mcm kite pelik tgk bangladeshi pulun amek pic bwh signboard tepi jalan.. haa cmtu la keadaannye..








Pandai aku amek pic.. ley wat pic calendar








Sesampai Busan, aku kne mabok2 cam 1st day smpi korea (Trip 2013) kali ni bukan sebab banana milk tp sbb  minom kopi Mael le Mail tah name.. berputar kepala.. pastu bantai lak mkn mknn laut kat jagalchi market tu.. byk tmpt tak cover kat busan sbb entahla.. mcm xde pasaan sgt dgn busan.. maybe next trip kne pi lg (tanpa minom kopi Mael)













To get this shot (muke ros n atap) i had to actually kangkang selebar2 alam utk dpt angle ni.. oldo cm still dpt gak..



Ni kat Trick Eye Museum area Hongdae.. Sesat barat b4 jumpe.. sempat la singgah kedai bangupang sedap kat area situ.. ensem oppa yg jual and can speak malay some more.. kuat pengaruh Malaysia kat korea ni..















Aku x amek pic kat sini.. ko tau nape kan? -__-




Kat sini pon aku x amek pic.. x muat -__-"




Apala agaknye pasaan alyaa tgk mummy die beria amek pic cmni? -___-





Ros x reti amek pic -___-".. tpakse la pi korea balek cmni.. eh?

ni septtnye cara amek pic.. heheheh









tah hape gaya tah ni
 







Actually ada byk lg pic.. nnt bebile rajin nnt upload lg.. till then.. dadidu..